Well, I’m half way finished with Crime and Punishment, and I must admit that I’m feeling a little dirty. This dirtiness seems to be caused by the fact that I have just about everything in common with the main character. For example, listen to what the narrator says about him on the first page: “He had become so completely absorbed in himself and isolated from his fellows that he dreaded meeting, not only his landlady, but any one at all.” I read this sentence while nodding my head and thinking, “Yup, so?” Just tonight I dreaded meeting people so much that I ignored 5 phone calls (not only do I avoid meeting people, I avoid meeting their voices), haven’t said a single word in 5 hours (not an exaggeration), and even sat in complete stillness as my landlord walked by so she wouldn’t know I was home (despite the fact that my car is in the driveway). The worst part is, unlike the main character in Crime and Punishment, I’m not even late with my rent. I have absolutely no excuse to be this anti-social. And now you know why I feel dirty.
This made me question whether or not this whole book a week thing is a good idea. I’m already dreadfully anti-social, I don’t know if sitting alone in perfect silence every day to read is the right thing for me. I know how this story goes. First comes anti-social, then comes crime, and then (worst of all) comes punishment. Holy crap, I’m all good with the crime part, but the punishment thing is never good. Garett, feel free to insert dirty joke here.
Luckily, I’m only half finished with the book now. Maybe I’ll have some redemption. Maybe Dostoevsky was being ironic when he titled the book Crime and Punishment (perhaps Dostoevsky was a hipster). Maybe what the book should be called is Crime and Wonderment. Only time will tell. With 250 pages to go, I’m really hoping that the main character (me) gets more wonderment, and less punishment.