I’m a Short Racist

December 3, 2008

Oh no! I’m racist!

As suggested by Malcolm Gladwell I just took an Implicit Association Test (IAT) which, through responding quickly to a lot of pictures and words, is supposed to tell me my racial attitude on an unconscious level. I took the test twice, because I didn’t believe the results. But, sure enough, when I finished the IAT, these were the big, bold words staring down at me from my computer screen: “You have a strong automatic preference for European American compared to African American.” Dang it! I’m going to keep taking this thing until I can get it right. I’d really rather not be racist, I promise.

Fortunately, Malcom Gladwell says my results don’t mean I’m racist. In fact, he says that my crappy test score is society’s fault and not mine. Suck it, society. In reality, I wasn’t surprised by my score. I sincerely believe that I’m not consciously racist, but I know I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by a society that favors wealthy white people (who also happen to be straight and protestant). Sorry, my Berkeley roots are coming out quite a bit, so I better move on.

Not only am I racist, but I’m also going to get paid less because I’m short. According to Blink, 14.5% of all men are six feet or taller. However, among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, 58% of men are six feet or taller. What’s even worse is that all things being equal an inch of height is worth $789 a year in salary. This means I need to spend less time performing well at work, and more time growing. Maybe I’ll need to go back to my “I think I can” advice from my previous post.

This book is making me think an awful lot. That’s probably not a good thing because it makes posts less funny and more ridiculous. Now, I’m going to go think happy thoughts and try to fix my racism problem.